Solvifaction – just made that word up. Last night I faced my misplaced need for solvifaction.
I attended a talk on emotions and the teenage brain given by our high school. I got schooled on the hippocampus and amygdala.
And how the frontal lobe is not fully formed in teens and so hippo and amy have their ways with teenage impulsiveness and that’s one way they get into problem situations.
And how when anyone, be they teenager or adult, is at the height of emotion, be it anxiety, anger, sadness, shame, (joy?), etc. – it is NOT the time to problem solve. Most emotional states last from 20-30 minutes. Allowing someone only a few minutes (seconds?) to get through to problem solve goes against our chemistry.
And how it’s best not to seek to solve teens’ and others’ problems for them. Validate feelings, validate options they propose, encourage coming up with other options – offer options only if called for – and then, only offer.
Basically – stop seeking to solve for our own solvifaction!