Sometimes qualities of our selves sneak up on us.
Over sixteen years ago I left the teaching profession, vowing I would never return. I can still recall that tangible freedom feeling on my last day of teaching. Of course, I was headed into a new marriage and, what I sensed would be, the career I was meant for but never (as I thought) had the opportunity to seriously pursue.
I had proof. Within the first month of teaching middle school I was asked to play one of my originals at a school assembly. One colleague came up afterward and said, “What are you doing here?” Proof positive I was meant solely for the stage.
Within a few months after leaving teaching I found myself pregnant with our son – now teenage grown. Now, there is plenty of proof positive out there that professional performers can have careers and children – but let’s not go there. As I with my first generation of kiddos, some deeply innate desire – to be as present for their growing as I could – arose again for this one.
I now recognize I also have a deep innate desire to be as present for the growing of my self as well! I also pursued some inner desires: I did sporadically perform and study with performers; ran eight marathons, two Mt. Washington Road Races, Mountain Series and Grand Prix; wrote a children’s musical; wrote & recorded six kids’ audio plays and songs; and one adult contemporary CD which I vowed to pay off in two years time or get a ‘regular’ job to do so.
Hence, this October I got a teaching job, subbing for someone out on medical leave. (I applied on a whim because it was raining and I couldn’t paint the house!) As fate would have it, the stint will pay off the CD loan.
Come to find out, that quality that wants to be present for the growing of selves is a good fit for teaching. And I find I love being part of daily community.
And it has me wondering – what inner qualities might be sneaking up on us as our selves continue to grow?